Careful What You Wish For

Last month I told you all that I had mentally checked out from my job at Tom Ahl's. I went to the GM and talked to him about adding some responsibilities to my tasks; sitting at a desk waiting for the phone to ring is a boring way to earn a living. At the time, Vince (the GM) sounded all excited to get me more involved. A month later, they still hadn't given me any extra duties. Instead, yesterday morning, I was relieved of my duties altogether.

So here I sit, officially one day into unemployment. I used to pick the kids up from grandma's and spend about 2-2.5 hours alone with them before Valerie gets home. Now, I get the 3-9 shift all to myself. So far, so good as far as the kids are concerned. I'm not sure how you're supposed to get anything else done around the house though.

I filed a claim for unemployment already. I should hear back in 3 weeks or so. Tom actually apologized for not giving me a warning at all, so since there was no prior disciplinary documentation at all, I'm fairly confident I'll get approved. I'm sure you're wondering: I was let go because two customers (seperately, about two weeks apart) complained about me. It should be noted that the first customer repeatedly refused to return the rental car and refused to return phone calls made in an attempt to recover the car. The second didn't like that I refused her service because she didn't have a credit card. In other words, I enforced the policy I was paid to enforce. Tom decided that since both of these customers were black females, I must have a problem with them (his words). Of course, 75% of my customers were black and I did the job for 6 years without incident, but whatever. It's done.

So now I have a chance to do something else and I guess that's cool. Hopefully I can find something a bit more challenging that offers me a bit more money as well. We shall see. Until then, I get to be a full-time dad. And that's pretty cool, too.

Of Mind and Body

If you've been following along here, you know I've dedicated many a post to the exploration of the inner workings of my own mind. I time I've spent introspectively has been done without guidance, aside from a few select websites that gave me pointers, but it has yielded results. At least I think it has. I suppose my wife may have other thoughts on the matter.

Valerie wrote (on her blog) the other day. She has a wonderful style about her writing. It's informal to be sure, but it captures the essence of her. Every time she writes, it reads like she's speaking the words. I know it sounds simple, but that's a much tougher thing to pull off than you'd guess. Anyhow, she wrote about excitement and about having something to look forward to. She's working on getting her body back after the delivery of Atticus and she's set a wonderful goal for herself. I am, once again, starting my own fitness quest.

I feel like I have a better understanding of myself than I ever have. I think the time I have spent examining my mind and my reactions to different situations has been time well spent. I concede that there is more work to be done in those areas, but I think that I have gained a touch of patience and a slightly sunnier demeanor over the past several months. I have learned that I can sometimes catch myself slipping into a bad mood, reacting negatively to an annoyance, and do things to try to change course.

I have become aware of me.

As I get older, I have also aware of my body; still teetering on the edge of 300 pounds. I haven't worked out regularly since, well, probably ever. I mean when I was in high school I worked out on occasion, but I have probably done more consistent exercise in the past few months than I did at any point growing up. Combine the lack of activity with an unhealthy obsession with video games and this is what happens. And this is why my kids will not be getting any video games any time soon. You hear that Grandma and Grandpa? No matter what they say or ask for. Nothing that can distract them from the physical activity and fresh air of the outdoors.

I do get sidetracked when I write, don't I?

Valerie has decided that the big payoff for her (and us, really) will be a trip to Mexico. This will happen right around our 5-year anniversary. The goal then, is to not embarrass her.

So, in the meantime, I am eating better, but not torturing myself. I am going to the gym with regularity, but not burning myself out (I need to go a bit more often, I think), and while I'm there, I'm lifting weights in addition to making sure I get some cardio work in. The last part is a change from the weight-loss efforts this winter, when I was doing cardio exclusively. This time, I'd much rather build muscle while also losing fat. It might take longer to bring my overall number down, but I assume I will be much happier with the finished product. The long-story short is that I have always had very strong legs and always had very weak upper body muscles. Time to balance that out a bit.

Basically, what it comes down to is convincing myself to do the work and convincing myself to avoid unhealthy eating habits.

Dieters frequently regret their moments of weakness. That donut they snuck or that piece of cake, or that trip through the drive-thru at taco bell, they all come with guilt. That guilt is enough to make anyone give up. So far, the thing I have found that has helped me is an inspirational quote.

"I really regret that workout." -No one. Ever.