New Year's Eve is always a convenient time to take stock of where you've been in the past year. Something about the turning of the calendar that makes reflection appropriate.
It would be difficult to imagine a more tumultuous year, but in the end I'm not sure there's been one more rewarding for me.
Little Atticus is nine months old today, which sounds so much older than he can possibly be. He's oh so close to walking. He pulls himself around the coffee table and he has so much to say. But he's also probably every bit as moody as his daddy is. Guess that's what I deserve.
All the kids are so grown up all of a sudden. When I started this whole stay-at-home dad thing back in June, I was more a fan of the idea of staying at home than actually doing so. Now I have a bit of a routine and it has allowed me to do some writing as well, which is important. I've gotten to know my kids so much better than I had before and I've seen them become more comfortable with me as well. Eight months ago, if one of them would have gotten hurt, there is no way they'd want to hug anyone but Mommy. Now I am allowed to soothe them as often as she is. It makes me feel important and necessary.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel like a butler far too often, but I suppose that will change as the kids get older and I can assign them some of the housework. For now, though, I handle the vast majority of the cleaning, the cooking, and the laundry. It's also my job to get them up and around for school and I'm proud to say that the only time they were late to school this year was the one night they stayed with Bio-Dad.
Valerie has returned to work full-time as of August and she's basically running the place now. She's more satisfied by her job than I can ever remember her being. Keep in mind that she works at a pig farm. How anyone can be satisfied by that I have no idea. But my stunning wife is a rare bird. Of course, we already knew that I suppose. Not many women would subject themselves to a life living with me. I guess it stands to reason that she might enjoy other less-conventional things as well. Things like "sleeving" sows. You don't even wanna know what that means.
So Santa broke down and brought Lillian a DSi last week. I was convinced that he should have waited another year, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a seven-year-old who is more mature or responsible. Think of every seven-year-old you've ever met; Lillian is nothing like any of them. If there is anyone who should be rewarded, it's her. I just hope it's not the beginning of a downward spiral of video gaming. I already worry she doesn't get enough physical activity. She's joined Girl Scouts and will be selling cookies starting next week. My blood sugar can hardly wait.
Also, she gets great enjoyment out of using the phrase "that's what she said," but she has no idea what it actually means. I so look forward to the day that it clicks for her. I can't wait to see the look of horror on her face when she realizes the innuendo that has been floating over her head this whole time. hehe
It sort of feels like I'm required to recap each child in every post, like I'd be neglecting one of them by not devoting a paragraph or two. Instead, a brief summary.
Sebastian runs hot and cold. I'm so proud of the way he's handled school this year. We went to his conferences in November and I swear I wondered if the teacher was talking about the right kid. Clearly, the decision to place him back in kindergarten for another year was a wise one. He went from being one of the youngest in his class to being in a group with kids his age. He's no longer playing catch-up. He's more comfortable. He still has behavior issues at home and he's got tremendous and sudden mood swings sometimes (not really anger, but depression). But there has been progress, I think.
Okay, so that was more like a paragraph. Now I'm really gonna feel bad for slighting Leyton and Amity.
Leyton is half-way through his first year of pre-school. He's still so tiny, but that kid talks like an adult. His mind will be the way he survives I think; I mean socially. He won't ever be the biggest kid, and his mouth will get him into trouble, but he'll also be able to out-smart the rest of them. There is a lot of Braden in him, I've been told.
And then there is the Princess. What can be said about her? I think my (hopefully) future sister-in-law summed it up the best when she remarked on a photo of Amity by saying "there are six billion children in the world and I would be comfortable arguing that she is the most beautiful." Every day she gets more adorable. I used to think that Valerie spoiled her too much. Now I don't think that's it's possible to spoil her as much as she deserves to be spoiled. I can't believe she'll be three in a few months and starting school next year. Ugh. Where does it go? Why can't we keep her this exact age forever?
I'm certain I don't want any more kids and I don't really think Valerie does either, but she likes to say that she'd have Amity a dozen more times. I have to agree.
So, I had a third son, lost my job, gained a new perspective and a new responsibility at home and somewhere in the in-between I wrote about 350 or so baseball articles. In August I took over as Senior Editor at our general baseball site, Call to the Pen. I have free reign to cover any and all baseball news across the whole sport. It's been extremely challenging and just as rewarding. In four months time, I have improved my traffic by 400% and put Call to the Pen back among the elite of FanSided sites; which is where it should be.
2013 is just a couples hours away and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens. All things considered, I have very few complaints about where I've been in the past 12 months and I have nothing but optimism about what's to come next for me as a writer and as a husband and father. If you know me at all, you know that optimism isn't something that comes around often for me.
I'm pretty glad the Mayans were wrong. Happy New Year.
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Monday, December 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Waiting Place
When last we spoke, I was one day removed from being, well, removed from my job. Now more than five weeks later and I'm still holding out hope that my unemployment claim will get approved. It was denied once, but I filed an appeal and I'm hopeful it goes through. Until then, I wait. And hope. On the plus side, I have an interview tomorrow in Celina, so this might be the one. We'll see. If nothing else, it's an excuse to shave. I haven't done that in a while.
Sebastian turns six in two days. He had a dry pullup a couple days go, but not last night. He didn't even want to talk about it. It was like he was embarrassed to have not peed his bed. Sometimes I think he's wired backwards. He's rarely happy, at least not for long, and he goes through long stretches of depression. He's only just about to turn six. I've never seen any child, let alone one that young, who is so troubled. It worries me. Of course, just as we were getting him going to see a doctor about these problems, we lost our insurance and this doctor doesn't take medicaid. I guess poor people aren't allowed to work through their issues.
Amity has been learning to pee on the potty lately. She's had an accidents, of course, but she's getting pretty good at it. We even drove to Columbus on Saturday without incident. For the record, she wears a diaper to bed and even though she sleeps for at lest ten hours a night, the diaper is almost always dry.
So for the past five weeks I've been a stay at home dad. I make dinner every night and take care of most of the housework. This gig at the network looks like it might actually become more than just a hobby at some point. I've been with them for two and a half years and for the first time, I really think it could eventually become like a real job. We have some news coming up next month and after that, I think traffic will just explode. How cool would it be to work from home? Then I'd get the best of both worlds.
This has been a short post today and it's jumped around a lot. I feel rusty. It's been a good long while since I really wrote something. Let's hope this post knocks some of that rust off so I can do better next time. I'll try not to wait five weeks.
Sebastian turns six in two days. He had a dry pullup a couple days go, but not last night. He didn't even want to talk about it. It was like he was embarrassed to have not peed his bed. Sometimes I think he's wired backwards. He's rarely happy, at least not for long, and he goes through long stretches of depression. He's only just about to turn six. I've never seen any child, let alone one that young, who is so troubled. It worries me. Of course, just as we were getting him going to see a doctor about these problems, we lost our insurance and this doctor doesn't take medicaid. I guess poor people aren't allowed to work through their issues.
Amity has been learning to pee on the potty lately. She's had an accidents, of course, but she's getting pretty good at it. We even drove to Columbus on Saturday without incident. For the record, she wears a diaper to bed and even though she sleeps for at lest ten hours a night, the diaper is almost always dry.
So for the past five weeks I've been a stay at home dad. I make dinner every night and take care of most of the housework. This gig at the network looks like it might actually become more than just a hobby at some point. I've been with them for two and a half years and for the first time, I really think it could eventually become like a real job. We have some news coming up next month and after that, I think traffic will just explode. How cool would it be to work from home? Then I'd get the best of both worlds.
This has been a short post today and it's jumped around a lot. I feel rusty. It's been a good long while since I really wrote something. Let's hope this post knocks some of that rust off so I can do better next time. I'll try not to wait five weeks.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Careful What You Wish For
Last month I told you all that I had mentally checked out from my job at Tom Ahl's. I went to the GM and talked to him about adding some responsibilities to my tasks; sitting at a desk waiting for the phone to ring is a boring way to earn a living. At the time, Vince (the GM) sounded all excited to get me more involved. A month later, they still hadn't given me any extra duties. Instead, yesterday morning, I was relieved of my duties altogether.
So here I sit, officially one day into unemployment. I used to pick the kids up from grandma's and spend about 2-2.5 hours alone with them before Valerie gets home. Now, I get the 3-9 shift all to myself. So far, so good as far as the kids are concerned. I'm not sure how you're supposed to get anything else done around the house though.
I filed a claim for unemployment already. I should hear back in 3 weeks or so. Tom actually apologized for not giving me a warning at all, so since there was no prior disciplinary documentation at all, I'm fairly confident I'll get approved. I'm sure you're wondering: I was let go because two customers (seperately, about two weeks apart) complained about me. It should be noted that the first customer repeatedly refused to return the rental car and refused to return phone calls made in an attempt to recover the car. The second didn't like that I refused her service because she didn't have a credit card. In other words, I enforced the policy I was paid to enforce. Tom decided that since both of these customers were black females, I must have a problem with them (his words). Of course, 75% of my customers were black and I did the job for 6 years without incident, but whatever. It's done.
So now I have a chance to do something else and I guess that's cool. Hopefully I can find something a bit more challenging that offers me a bit more money as well. We shall see. Until then, I get to be a full-time dad. And that's pretty cool, too.
So here I sit, officially one day into unemployment. I used to pick the kids up from grandma's and spend about 2-2.5 hours alone with them before Valerie gets home. Now, I get the 3-9 shift all to myself. So far, so good as far as the kids are concerned. I'm not sure how you're supposed to get anything else done around the house though.
I filed a claim for unemployment already. I should hear back in 3 weeks or so. Tom actually apologized for not giving me a warning at all, so since there was no prior disciplinary documentation at all, I'm fairly confident I'll get approved. I'm sure you're wondering: I was let go because two customers (seperately, about two weeks apart) complained about me. It should be noted that the first customer repeatedly refused to return the rental car and refused to return phone calls made in an attempt to recover the car. The second didn't like that I refused her service because she didn't have a credit card. In other words, I enforced the policy I was paid to enforce. Tom decided that since both of these customers were black females, I must have a problem with them (his words). Of course, 75% of my customers were black and I did the job for 6 years without incident, but whatever. It's done.
So now I have a chance to do something else and I guess that's cool. Hopefully I can find something a bit more challenging that offers me a bit more money as well. We shall see. Until then, I get to be a full-time dad. And that's pretty cool, too.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Of Mind and Body
If you've been following along here, you know I've dedicated many a post to the exploration of the inner workings of my own mind. I time I've spent introspectively has been done without guidance, aside from a few select websites that gave me pointers, but it has yielded results. At least I think it has. I suppose my wife may have other thoughts on the matter.
Valerie wrote (on her blog) the other day. She has a wonderful style about her writing. It's informal to be sure, but it captures the essence of her. Every time she writes, it reads like she's speaking the words. I know it sounds simple, but that's a much tougher thing to pull off than you'd guess. Anyhow, she wrote about excitement and about having something to look forward to. She's working on getting her body back after the delivery of Atticus and she's set a wonderful goal for herself. I am, once again, starting my own fitness quest.
I feel like I have a better understanding of myself than I ever have. I think the time I have spent examining my mind and my reactions to different situations has been time well spent. I concede that there is more work to be done in those areas, but I think that I have gained a touch of patience and a slightly sunnier demeanor over the past several months. I have learned that I can sometimes catch myself slipping into a bad mood, reacting negatively to an annoyance, and do things to try to change course.
I have become aware of me.
As I get older, I have also aware of my body; still teetering on the edge of 300 pounds. I haven't worked out regularly since, well, probably ever. I mean when I was in high school I worked out on occasion, but I have probably done more consistent exercise in the past few months than I did at any point growing up. Combine the lack of activity with an unhealthy obsession with video games and this is what happens. And this is why my kids will not be getting any video games any time soon. You hear that Grandma and Grandpa? No matter what they say or ask for. Nothing that can distract them from the physical activity and fresh air of the outdoors.
I do get sidetracked when I write, don't I?
Valerie has decided that the big payoff for her (and us, really) will be a trip to Mexico. This will happen right around our 5-year anniversary. The goal then, is to not embarrass her.
So, in the meantime, I am eating better, but not torturing myself. I am going to the gym with regularity, but not burning myself out (I need to go a bit more often, I think), and while I'm there, I'm lifting weights in addition to making sure I get some cardio work in. The last part is a change from the weight-loss efforts this winter, when I was doing cardio exclusively. This time, I'd much rather build muscle while also losing fat. It might take longer to bring my overall number down, but I assume I will be much happier with the finished product. The long-story short is that I have always had very strong legs and always had very weak upper body muscles. Time to balance that out a bit.
Basically, what it comes down to is convincing myself to do the work and convincing myself to avoid unhealthy eating habits.
Dieters frequently regret their moments of weakness. That donut they snuck or that piece of cake, or that trip through the drive-thru at taco bell, they all come with guilt. That guilt is enough to make anyone give up. So far, the thing I have found that has helped me is an inspirational quote.
Valerie wrote (on her blog) the other day. She has a wonderful style about her writing. It's informal to be sure, but it captures the essence of her. Every time she writes, it reads like she's speaking the words. I know it sounds simple, but that's a much tougher thing to pull off than you'd guess. Anyhow, she wrote about excitement and about having something to look forward to. She's working on getting her body back after the delivery of Atticus and she's set a wonderful goal for herself. I am, once again, starting my own fitness quest.
I feel like I have a better understanding of myself than I ever have. I think the time I have spent examining my mind and my reactions to different situations has been time well spent. I concede that there is more work to be done in those areas, but I think that I have gained a touch of patience and a slightly sunnier demeanor over the past several months. I have learned that I can sometimes catch myself slipping into a bad mood, reacting negatively to an annoyance, and do things to try to change course.
I have become aware of me.
As I get older, I have also aware of my body; still teetering on the edge of 300 pounds. I haven't worked out regularly since, well, probably ever. I mean when I was in high school I worked out on occasion, but I have probably done more consistent exercise in the past few months than I did at any point growing up. Combine the lack of activity with an unhealthy obsession with video games and this is what happens. And this is why my kids will not be getting any video games any time soon. You hear that Grandma and Grandpa? No matter what they say or ask for. Nothing that can distract them from the physical activity and fresh air of the outdoors.
I do get sidetracked when I write, don't I?
Valerie has decided that the big payoff for her (and us, really) will be a trip to Mexico. This will happen right around our 5-year anniversary. The goal then, is to not embarrass her.
So, in the meantime, I am eating better, but not torturing myself. I am going to the gym with regularity, but not burning myself out (I need to go a bit more often, I think), and while I'm there, I'm lifting weights in addition to making sure I get some cardio work in. The last part is a change from the weight-loss efforts this winter, when I was doing cardio exclusively. This time, I'd much rather build muscle while also losing fat. It might take longer to bring my overall number down, but I assume I will be much happier with the finished product. The long-story short is that I have always had very strong legs and always had very weak upper body muscles. Time to balance that out a bit.
Basically, what it comes down to is convincing myself to do the work and convincing myself to avoid unhealthy eating habits.
Dieters frequently regret their moments of weakness. That donut they snuck or that piece of cake, or that trip through the drive-thru at taco bell, they all come with guilt. That guilt is enough to make anyone give up. So far, the thing I have found that has helped me is an inspirational quote.
"I really regret that workout." -No one. Ever.
Monday, April 30, 2012
In My Head, I'm Already Gone
The date was April 29, 2011. That was the official email I received from Proctor & Gamble. The email that would change my life, or so I thought. I had made it! After a screening process literally four months long, I had passed the initial questionnaire, passed the four-hour long test, and finally passed the panel interview. The email confirmed that I was placed in the hiring pool, from which names would be drawn and offered employment.
A job at P&G meant more than doubling my salary in the first year and tripling it by year five. So, for the next few weeks, I checked my email fervently. Weeks turned to months and eventually I began to lose confidence. Why wouldn't they call? Several times over the weeks and months I logged in to their website to make sure they had my correct information.
Finally, yesterday, my one year anniversary in the hiring pool arrived and with it came an end to my hopes of a life-changing job. You get only a year in the pool and my year was up.
While my personal life is probably more fulfilling than ever, professionally I have been left feeling unsatisfied. I've worked the same position at Tom Ahl's dealership, watching from the sidelines as those around me have been moved to bigger and better opportunities. I suppose I should be grateful, as I really have no boss and the arrangement allows me the time needed to write. But I don't do a ton of writing anymore and now I'm just flat-out bored. Of course, boredom is something I'd happily put up with for the right price, but that has never been one of the perks of this job and lately it's headed in the wrong direction.
I've sent out an application that looks promising and this week I'll send out some more. I've convinced myself, in my head, that this is probably my last week at Tom Ahl's rental counter and I cannot wait to move on to a new challenge. Six years is a long time to watch as others are given opportunities to advance, to watch as others leapfrog over me. I'm just about ready to go.
Of course, a year ago I was convinced that my days at Tom Ahl's were numbered and that didn't pan out. This time, with my wife pondering staying home with the kids, the time seems right to move on, where ever the next stop may be.
I don't know where I'll work, or even if I'll work at all should Valerie decide to go back to the farm. I know the next stop won't likely be as lucritive as P&G would have been, but almost anything will be more so than this place. Ideally, I'd get to do the network stuff full-time and make a decent living from home, which would kill two birds for us, but that doesn't appear in the cards for at least several months. In the meantime, I just can't see myself convincing me to go into work at the dealership everyday for too much longer. This ship has sailed.
In my head, I'm already gone.
A job at P&G meant more than doubling my salary in the first year and tripling it by year five. So, for the next few weeks, I checked my email fervently. Weeks turned to months and eventually I began to lose confidence. Why wouldn't they call? Several times over the weeks and months I logged in to their website to make sure they had my correct information.
Finally, yesterday, my one year anniversary in the hiring pool arrived and with it came an end to my hopes of a life-changing job. You get only a year in the pool and my year was up.
While my personal life is probably more fulfilling than ever, professionally I have been left feeling unsatisfied. I've worked the same position at Tom Ahl's dealership, watching from the sidelines as those around me have been moved to bigger and better opportunities. I suppose I should be grateful, as I really have no boss and the arrangement allows me the time needed to write. But I don't do a ton of writing anymore and now I'm just flat-out bored. Of course, boredom is something I'd happily put up with for the right price, but that has never been one of the perks of this job and lately it's headed in the wrong direction.
I've sent out an application that looks promising and this week I'll send out some more. I've convinced myself, in my head, that this is probably my last week at Tom Ahl's rental counter and I cannot wait to move on to a new challenge. Six years is a long time to watch as others are given opportunities to advance, to watch as others leapfrog over me. I'm just about ready to go.
Of course, a year ago I was convinced that my days at Tom Ahl's were numbered and that didn't pan out. This time, with my wife pondering staying home with the kids, the time seems right to move on, where ever the next stop may be.
I don't know where I'll work, or even if I'll work at all should Valerie decide to go back to the farm. I know the next stop won't likely be as lucritive as P&G would have been, but almost anything will be more so than this place. Ideally, I'd get to do the network stuff full-time and make a decent living from home, which would kill two birds for us, but that doesn't appear in the cards for at least several months. In the meantime, I just can't see myself convincing me to go into work at the dealership everyday for too much longer. This ship has sailed.
In my head, I'm already gone.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
I'll Take Literary Characters for $1000, Alex
Okay, so I'm a little late with this. Like 10 days late.
After waiting for what seemed like forever, Valerie had what we hoped would be her final doctor's appointment on Friday, March 30; a date otherwise known as the due date for our PTBNL. The exam was disappointing, as Valerie was still dilated just 3cm, just as she had been for weeks. "Go home," she said, "talk a walk, have sex, do whatever you need to do. Then gather your things and go to the hospital if you feel anything at all." Still, Valerie was worried the hospital staff would send her home unless she was really in labor. We went to lunch, went for a walk, then collected the kids from school and packed their bags for grandma's house and at roughly 4:30 pm, we showed up at the hospital, ready to have a baby.
The nurses were great, both the day shift nurse and the one who guided us the rest of the way. The started her on pitocin to set the labor in motion and eventually Valerie opted for the epidural as well. Things weren't progressing much at all, however, and eventually the baby was having trouble breathing through the contractions. The nurse tried placing my wife in different positions to take the strain off the baby, but nothing was working. Finally, she had Valerie get on all fours and began re-filling her fluids, in an attempt to get the baby to "float" off of the umbilical cord. After a brutal half an hour in this position, Valerie was re-checked and her dilation was complete. From 6cm to 10 in just that half hour. Quite suddenly, it was showtime.
One "practice" push, as they called it, got the baby all the way down the birth canal. After waiting for almost a full minute to allow the doctor time to remove the monitor and all the other lines in the way, the next push produced the baby's head. A quick bit of work by the doctor unwrapped the cord from around his little neck and two pushes later, our son was born.
Atticus Ty joined our family at 12:38 am, just thirty-eight minutes past his due date. He weighed 8 lbs 13 oz (two ounces less than Amity had) and was a whopping 22 inches long. His hands and feet were large and so was his head, which measured 15 inches around. Ouch.
As I said, all that happened ten days ago. In the meantime, life at home has been unusual in some ways and exactly the same in others. Atticus sleeps a lot and he doesn't really cry all that much. He seems pretty relaxed from what I can tell. His siblings seem to like him well enough, though Sebastian took a while to warm up to the idea of yet another new baby. Amity is enthralled by him.
Dad and Vickie came to town this past weekend and came to the house twice. It was as if they'd never left. Unfortunately, they left us again to head back to Florida. I'm not sure they mentioned when they'd be back again. The kids miss them. So do I. Everybody does, really. But the time we had this week was great and I can't wait for the next visit.
So far, Valerie and Atticus seem to have worked out a pretty good feeding schedule. As soon as he even whimpers, she scoops him up for a quick snack and before he even realizes it, he's asleep once again. Thankfully, she's been letting me sleep through this. In turn, I've been up to take the kids to school each day as needed. It's not fun, but it's the least I can do.
I'm not sure who he looks like. The majority say Amity, but I see some Leyton faces there as well. He's a good looking kid, I think. He just looks like Atticus. He's so tiny and yet so big. As far as the name, everyone seems to love it, surprisingly enough.
I think we did good, Babe.
After waiting for what seemed like forever, Valerie had what we hoped would be her final doctor's appointment on Friday, March 30; a date otherwise known as the due date for our PTBNL. The exam was disappointing, as Valerie was still dilated just 3cm, just as she had been for weeks. "Go home," she said, "talk a walk, have sex, do whatever you need to do. Then gather your things and go to the hospital if you feel anything at all." Still, Valerie was worried the hospital staff would send her home unless she was really in labor. We went to lunch, went for a walk, then collected the kids from school and packed their bags for grandma's house and at roughly 4:30 pm, we showed up at the hospital, ready to have a baby.
The nurses were great, both the day shift nurse and the one who guided us the rest of the way. The started her on pitocin to set the labor in motion and eventually Valerie opted for the epidural as well. Things weren't progressing much at all, however, and eventually the baby was having trouble breathing through the contractions. The nurse tried placing my wife in different positions to take the strain off the baby, but nothing was working. Finally, she had Valerie get on all fours and began re-filling her fluids, in an attempt to get the baby to "float" off of the umbilical cord. After a brutal half an hour in this position, Valerie was re-checked and her dilation was complete. From 6cm to 10 in just that half hour. Quite suddenly, it was showtime.
One "practice" push, as they called it, got the baby all the way down the birth canal. After waiting for almost a full minute to allow the doctor time to remove the monitor and all the other lines in the way, the next push produced the baby's head. A quick bit of work by the doctor unwrapped the cord from around his little neck and two pushes later, our son was born.
Atticus Ty joined our family at 12:38 am, just thirty-eight minutes past his due date. He weighed 8 lbs 13 oz (two ounces less than Amity had) and was a whopping 22 inches long. His hands and feet were large and so was his head, which measured 15 inches around. Ouch.
As I said, all that happened ten days ago. In the meantime, life at home has been unusual in some ways and exactly the same in others. Atticus sleeps a lot and he doesn't really cry all that much. He seems pretty relaxed from what I can tell. His siblings seem to like him well enough, though Sebastian took a while to warm up to the idea of yet another new baby. Amity is enthralled by him.
Dad and Vickie came to town this past weekend and came to the house twice. It was as if they'd never left. Unfortunately, they left us again to head back to Florida. I'm not sure they mentioned when they'd be back again. The kids miss them. So do I. Everybody does, really. But the time we had this week was great and I can't wait for the next visit.
So far, Valerie and Atticus seem to have worked out a pretty good feeding schedule. As soon as he even whimpers, she scoops him up for a quick snack and before he even realizes it, he's asleep once again. Thankfully, she's been letting me sleep through this. In turn, I've been up to take the kids to school each day as needed. It's not fun, but it's the least I can do.
I'm not sure who he looks like. The majority say Amity, but I see some Leyton faces there as well. He's a good looking kid, I think. He just looks like Atticus. He's so tiny and yet so big. As far as the name, everyone seems to love it, surprisingly enough.
I think we did good, Babe.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Amity and the PTBNL
Tomorrow, my baby girl will be two years old. She's been battling a fever for the better part of a week now, and that's lead to plenty of lost sleep for her mom and me. Last night, I took a trio of little ones to have dinner with their aunt and uncle. Amity was in high spirits there; the fever no longer a factor. She ran and played and ate well and jabbered up a storm.
I spent a very long time being quite certain that I wanted no part of being a dad. I could barely afford to take care of myself, I reasoned. They'd be annoying. I'm too busy. Funny thing about that, though, is that the priorities just seem to shift all by themselves when they need to. There have been things I'd like to do that I no longer can, but none of that matters at all when I come home from work and immediately have at least two kids draped around my legs welcoming me back to their lives.
Amity and Leyton have only seemed to grow closer over the past few months. Now that she can articulate her thoughts a bit better, she always has to make sure that whatever she has, that Leyton gets one, too. It's not unusual for the two of them to randomly hug each other and one is always asking the other to play. It reminds me a lot of when Lillian and Sebastian were a bit younger; they did many of the same things. I wonder how that dichotomy will change once the Player To Be Named Later* is born.
*Actually, my wife and I have already settled on a name for the new baby, but Player Whose Name Is To Be Revealed Later doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?
Speaking of... that PTBNL is in no hurry to greet his older siblings. Valerie has made several appearances at her doctor's office and the progress little baby boy Parent has made seems minimal at best. I told my Dad on March 5 that I was quite certain he'd have a new grandchild before St. Patrick's Day, now I'm just hoping that Amity and he new little bro don't have to share a birthday. Technically, the due date isn't until the 30th, but it can't really go that far, can it?
We've been having quite a bit of fun at Lillian's expense recently. It's driving her nuts that we won't divulge the baby's name, but Valerie did tell her it began with an "A". We've spent the last couple of months referring to the PTBNL in conversation by different "A" names (Anthony, Arnold, Alvin, etc). In one instance, Lillian was convinced we slipped up and revealed the name and she swore she wouldn't tell. It took her all of about 45 seconds after she walked into her grandma's house to unburden herself of that information far too juicy to keep secret. honestly, I can't recall what name it was that Valerie had casually used and Lillian took as gospel, but the true name it wasn't.
We have wooden letters that spell out each child's name. They hang on the walls of their rooms. We've kept the "A" sitting around in the open since Valerie gave that clue and two days ago, we agreed to leave another letter visible. Lillian immediately took the bait and we spent an hour or so trying to guess the name. I had both Lillian and Sebastian guess which letters they thought would be included in the name and wrote each one on a separate piece of paper. Lillian then shuffled them around to try to name names. Didn't work. The best she could come up with was "Aiden", but that's not the name, either.
The waiting game has taken control of our lives, I think. We haven't done laundry since last week sometime. I think we both just expect everyday that tomorrow the baby will and then tomorrow comes and he's not here and we expect it will happen tomorrow. In the meantime, we simply pass the time as quickly as we can and wait for tomorrow to come.
I spent a very long time being quite certain that I wanted no part of being a dad. I could barely afford to take care of myself, I reasoned. They'd be annoying. I'm too busy. Funny thing about that, though, is that the priorities just seem to shift all by themselves when they need to. There have been things I'd like to do that I no longer can, but none of that matters at all when I come home from work and immediately have at least two kids draped around my legs welcoming me back to their lives.
Amity and Leyton have only seemed to grow closer over the past few months. Now that she can articulate her thoughts a bit better, she always has to make sure that whatever she has, that Leyton gets one, too. It's not unusual for the two of them to randomly hug each other and one is always asking the other to play. It reminds me a lot of when Lillian and Sebastian were a bit younger; they did many of the same things. I wonder how that dichotomy will change once the Player To Be Named Later* is born.
*Actually, my wife and I have already settled on a name for the new baby, but Player Whose Name Is To Be Revealed Later doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?
Speaking of... that PTBNL is in no hurry to greet his older siblings. Valerie has made several appearances at her doctor's office and the progress little baby boy Parent has made seems minimal at best. I told my Dad on March 5 that I was quite certain he'd have a new grandchild before St. Patrick's Day, now I'm just hoping that Amity and he new little bro don't have to share a birthday. Technically, the due date isn't until the 30th, but it can't really go that far, can it?
We've been having quite a bit of fun at Lillian's expense recently. It's driving her nuts that we won't divulge the baby's name, but Valerie did tell her it began with an "A". We've spent the last couple of months referring to the PTBNL in conversation by different "A" names (Anthony, Arnold, Alvin, etc). In one instance, Lillian was convinced we slipped up and revealed the name and she swore she wouldn't tell. It took her all of about 45 seconds after she walked into her grandma's house to unburden herself of that information far too juicy to keep secret. honestly, I can't recall what name it was that Valerie had casually used and Lillian took as gospel, but the true name it wasn't.
We have wooden letters that spell out each child's name. They hang on the walls of their rooms. We've kept the "A" sitting around in the open since Valerie gave that clue and two days ago, we agreed to leave another letter visible. Lillian immediately took the bait and we spent an hour or so trying to guess the name. I had both Lillian and Sebastian guess which letters they thought would be included in the name and wrote each one on a separate piece of paper. Lillian then shuffled them around to try to name names. Didn't work. The best she could come up with was "Aiden", but that's not the name, either.
The waiting game has taken control of our lives, I think. We haven't done laundry since last week sometime. I think we both just expect everyday that tomorrow the baby will and then tomorrow comes and he's not here and we expect it will happen tomorrow. In the meantime, we simply pass the time as quickly as we can and wait for tomorrow to come.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Continuing Evolution of (this) Man
So I wasn't sure I would ever write this post, but I guess it might be okay to do so now.
As of today, it's been two months and two days since I stopped using smokeless tobacco. This is not the first time I've quit, or even the longest I've gone, but this does feel like the most permanent.
This might come as a surprise to some, but I hid my tobacco use from my wife for quite some time. I had quit after we got married but eventually I began again. I couldn't tell her. Eventually I became reckless and she found the damning evidence. It was a very, very bad day. She says it was the worst day she's had.
Instead of being some tough guy who tried to quit everything altogether, I recognized (probably because of past failures) that it wasn't so much the nicotine or tobacco I craved, it was simply having that something in my mouth. (Yes, I realize this is a topic that disgusts many)
So when I stopped chewing, I replaced it with "fake chew", which is tobacco free and manufactured to look, smell, and taste like the real stuff. I'd tried this before, years ago, and found it to be like plastic, but like most things, they've come a long way. In case you were wondering, Smokey Mountain brand Cherry or Peach is what quelled the cravings for the better part of two months. And by the way, tomorrow will be a week without even using the fake stuff. Now I just chew gum when I "need a fix", so to speak.
Over the past several months, I've taken steps to improve myself, which is something I probably wouldn't have been aware enough to do, let alone motivated enough, without my wife. Once again, she is the my inspiration in all things. I have tried to become more in tuned with my reactions to others, my relationships with my kids, all at her urging. Even if I had thought to do it myself, I likely wouldn't have thought me worth the effort.
This tobacco thing is as much for her as anyone, but just like everything else in the past four years, I find that when I do things for her, they end up really benefiting me as well.
I didn't write this post to be congratulated or patted on the back for a job well done. This isn't that at all. I failed at quitting more than once before this time, but I feel good about the end of this quest being fruitful. I don't feel good about doing what I did to my wife. Hopefully I'll be able to restore her faith in me.
As of today, it's been two months and two days since I stopped using smokeless tobacco. This is not the first time I've quit, or even the longest I've gone, but this does feel like the most permanent.
This might come as a surprise to some, but I hid my tobacco use from my wife for quite some time. I had quit after we got married but eventually I began again. I couldn't tell her. Eventually I became reckless and she found the damning evidence. It was a very, very bad day. She says it was the worst day she's had.
Instead of being some tough guy who tried to quit everything altogether, I recognized (probably because of past failures) that it wasn't so much the nicotine or tobacco I craved, it was simply having that something in my mouth. (Yes, I realize this is a topic that disgusts many)
So when I stopped chewing, I replaced it with "fake chew", which is tobacco free and manufactured to look, smell, and taste like the real stuff. I'd tried this before, years ago, and found it to be like plastic, but like most things, they've come a long way. In case you were wondering, Smokey Mountain brand Cherry or Peach is what quelled the cravings for the better part of two months. And by the way, tomorrow will be a week without even using the fake stuff. Now I just chew gum when I "need a fix", so to speak.
Over the past several months, I've taken steps to improve myself, which is something I probably wouldn't have been aware enough to do, let alone motivated enough, without my wife. Once again, she is the my inspiration in all things. I have tried to become more in tuned with my reactions to others, my relationships with my kids, all at her urging. Even if I had thought to do it myself, I likely wouldn't have thought me worth the effort.
This tobacco thing is as much for her as anyone, but just like everything else in the past four years, I find that when I do things for her, they end up really benefiting me as well.
I didn't write this post to be congratulated or patted on the back for a job well done. This isn't that at all. I failed at quitting more than once before this time, but I feel good about the end of this quest being fruitful. I don't feel good about doing what I did to my wife. Hopefully I'll be able to restore her faith in me.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
staying up to date
My wife mentioned to me the other day that this site has been a bit neglected of late. I have given her nudge some thought, and I've realized that this is basically because I've been in a really happy place. I don't want to borrow from Charlie Sheen here or anything, but I've been winning, and as any good baseball blogger will tell you, it's much easier to write when the team is losing. When they win, you kinda forget about the dropped fly ball or the missed cut-off man or the errant throw that lead to a run. Winning cures all ails. When the club is going bad, each of those examples become its own piece on your site. There are countless ways to break down a loss, but far fewer ways to dissect a win.
That's sort of how my life has been lately, which means fewer posts. I'll try to work on that.
Amity has been so wonderful. She's growing into this little person. She and Leyton look out for each other always, which is good because someone needs to protect Leyton (haha). They have little conversations and if one of them gets a snack or a piece of candy, they immediate ask for another one for their sibling. Sebastian and Lillian used to do the exact same thing. That's so cool to see that behavior repeated. I'm glad we're having a boy, but not just because it's a boy. I think it's great that Amity will get to stay Mommy's little baby girl. Valerie deserves that, and I don't think we could handle another girl getting as spoiled as this one has been.
Valerie is down to about a month left at work before she'll take off to wait for the arrival of our new baby. I was talking with Braden (my brother-in-law) last night and he remarked how he often forgets that she's pregnant. I almost do as well. She works so hard at that pig farm and then has to come home and take care of the kids and house for three hours before I get there. Even afterward, it's not like the kids suddenly leave her alone. She just keeps going, but I think that's only because she knows the end is in sight. This woman needs a vacation. And she deserves one as well.
I started this weight loss thing at work. A "Biggest Loser" type thing with teams of four. The contest lasts six weeks and only cost $25 and that came with a gym membership. So far so good for the most part. I'm down ten pounds since we started this (10 days ago as I write). It would be more, I'm sure, without some Pizza Hut buffet involved. I think I'm skipping next week though, I didn't feel so good last night after eating that grease. I guess when you only have it on rare occasions, it's not nearly as appetizing. Plus then I have to spend that much more time on that damned elliptical. The Super Bowl is this Sunday as well, so I'm not counting on a big weight loss week. That's okay though, I feel much better already and I think this is something I can stay with in the longer-term. We'll see though. It's always exciting in the beginning. Sooner or later, the realities of doing the work actually set in. Maybe this time is different.
Oh and apparently my side job as a baseball writer is something the IRS doesn't appreciate. I have to file taxes as self-employed so now I have to come up with a list of expenses that I can deduct. It's all too much for me; I'm going to H&R Block tomorrow. Hopefully this doesn't prevent us from getting that siding installed this year.
We almost lost a cat this week and may not be out of the woods. Murray (muh-RAY, female) is giant fat, but she usually isn't lethargic. Valerie took her to the vet and after many tests (and a temp of over 104) they came back with a diagnosis of severe anemia. Apparently this caused her blood to turn very thick. The options we had were to put the cat down (kill her), send her to Columbus for a $1200 blood transfusion and a lifetime of steroids, or a long-acting steroid that may or may not work. Valerie chose the steroid and took Murray home. That night she layed in one spot and never moved. Yesterday she was up and around a bit more. This morning, Murray had enough energy to start acting almost normal. I'm hopeful she'll be fine. It looks like she's feeling better.
Did you know that Lillian is only six? I need to remember that sometimes. So does she. She may as well be 15. Last night she was arm wrestling with Steph and there was an honest struggle involved. Of course, Lillian was using the wrong grip and was creating unfair leverage, but she's SIX and Steph is twenty-something. This should have been no-contest. Lillian is strong like bull. She's also exceptionally smart and self-sufficient, which is why I forget that she's still so young.
I feel like I need to mention everyone in these posts and that troubles me. I want this to be as organic as possible, which is why I've never written on a schedule here. At the same time, I almost don't want to mention everyone. The problem is that this is supposed to be a site for the children to someday look back upon. But it's also a place that a handful of my family members know about and read in the present-day. I also know that Valerie doesn't like the idea of airing our dirty laundry, so to speak, and the last thing I want is to cause a fight.
So I'm stuck between telling the world that I do have concerns about Sebastian, about his lack of attention, his unwillingness to try to learn how to do things, his emotional outbursts caused by seemingly small issues (or no issues at all), and between keeping those concerns hidden from the prying eyes of others. In keeping them hidden, however, I am not being honest with the kids. I also don't want Sebastian to read this one day and think I didn't love him, because I do. He has such a good heart and he loves to help whenever Valerie or I give him a task to do.
At the same time, though, I feel like this site should be about more than just painting the prettiest picture of our household. We aren't the Cosbys; there are actual issues and actually problems and those cannot be wrapped up in a thirty minute sitcom. But, there are also wonderful times and tiny little moments of amazement and those times far, far exceed the rough patches.
That's sort of how my life has been lately, which means fewer posts. I'll try to work on that.
Amity has been so wonderful. She's growing into this little person. She and Leyton look out for each other always, which is good because someone needs to protect Leyton (haha). They have little conversations and if one of them gets a snack or a piece of candy, they immediate ask for another one for their sibling. Sebastian and Lillian used to do the exact same thing. That's so cool to see that behavior repeated. I'm glad we're having a boy, but not just because it's a boy. I think it's great that Amity will get to stay Mommy's little baby girl. Valerie deserves that, and I don't think we could handle another girl getting as spoiled as this one has been.
Valerie is down to about a month left at work before she'll take off to wait for the arrival of our new baby. I was talking with Braden (my brother-in-law) last night and he remarked how he often forgets that she's pregnant. I almost do as well. She works so hard at that pig farm and then has to come home and take care of the kids and house for three hours before I get there. Even afterward, it's not like the kids suddenly leave her alone. She just keeps going, but I think that's only because she knows the end is in sight. This woman needs a vacation. And she deserves one as well.
I started this weight loss thing at work. A "Biggest Loser" type thing with teams of four. The contest lasts six weeks and only cost $25 and that came with a gym membership. So far so good for the most part. I'm down ten pounds since we started this (10 days ago as I write). It would be more, I'm sure, without some Pizza Hut buffet involved. I think I'm skipping next week though, I didn't feel so good last night after eating that grease. I guess when you only have it on rare occasions, it's not nearly as appetizing. Plus then I have to spend that much more time on that damned elliptical. The Super Bowl is this Sunday as well, so I'm not counting on a big weight loss week. That's okay though, I feel much better already and I think this is something I can stay with in the longer-term. We'll see though. It's always exciting in the beginning. Sooner or later, the realities of doing the work actually set in. Maybe this time is different.
Oh and apparently my side job as a baseball writer is something the IRS doesn't appreciate. I have to file taxes as self-employed so now I have to come up with a list of expenses that I can deduct. It's all too much for me; I'm going to H&R Block tomorrow. Hopefully this doesn't prevent us from getting that siding installed this year.
We almost lost a cat this week and may not be out of the woods. Murray (muh-RAY, female) is giant fat, but she usually isn't lethargic. Valerie took her to the vet and after many tests (and a temp of over 104) they came back with a diagnosis of severe anemia. Apparently this caused her blood to turn very thick. The options we had were to put the cat down (kill her), send her to Columbus for a $1200 blood transfusion and a lifetime of steroids, or a long-acting steroid that may or may not work. Valerie chose the steroid and took Murray home. That night she layed in one spot and never moved. Yesterday she was up and around a bit more. This morning, Murray had enough energy to start acting almost normal. I'm hopeful she'll be fine. It looks like she's feeling better.
Did you know that Lillian is only six? I need to remember that sometimes. So does she. She may as well be 15. Last night she was arm wrestling with Steph and there was an honest struggle involved. Of course, Lillian was using the wrong grip and was creating unfair leverage, but she's SIX and Steph is twenty-something. This should have been no-contest. Lillian is strong like bull. She's also exceptionally smart and self-sufficient, which is why I forget that she's still so young.
I feel like I need to mention everyone in these posts and that troubles me. I want this to be as organic as possible, which is why I've never written on a schedule here. At the same time, I almost don't want to mention everyone. The problem is that this is supposed to be a site for the children to someday look back upon. But it's also a place that a handful of my family members know about and read in the present-day. I also know that Valerie doesn't like the idea of airing our dirty laundry, so to speak, and the last thing I want is to cause a fight.
So I'm stuck between telling the world that I do have concerns about Sebastian, about his lack of attention, his unwillingness to try to learn how to do things, his emotional outbursts caused by seemingly small issues (or no issues at all), and between keeping those concerns hidden from the prying eyes of others. In keeping them hidden, however, I am not being honest with the kids. I also don't want Sebastian to read this one day and think I didn't love him, because I do. He has such a good heart and he loves to help whenever Valerie or I give him a task to do.
At the same time, though, I feel like this site should be about more than just painting the prettiest picture of our household. We aren't the Cosbys; there are actual issues and actually problems and those cannot be wrapped up in a thirty minute sitcom. But, there are also wonderful times and tiny little moments of amazement and those times far, far exceed the rough patches.
Monday, January 9, 2012
The First Major Fallout From This Site
I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise, but a couple of my posts here have ruffled some feathers among my family. When I decided that I wanted to use this site to give light to my inner-most thoughts and ideas, and vowed to do so will complete honesty, I understood that this outcome was possible. Probable, in fact.
This post could go a couple of different ways right now. I could issue a blanket apology and make everyone happy. Conformity is always the path of least resistance, after all. Or, I could hold my ground and hide behind the idea of complete honesty, as if that gives me carte blanche to piss of as many people as possible. It doesn't.
Instead, I think I'll try to find a middle ground, because I don't think that either of the above options are the right way for me to go. And if this blog is to be for my children someday, I don't want the lesson learned here to be either of the above. To follow either of those paths would be to allow society to determine your behavior. In situations such as these, you should always be true to yourself first.
Let me start by saying that the issues I have discussed here in recent months did not necessarily need discussed. Which is to say, I guess, that those issues did not need to be made public. In my opinion, they did need discussed, if only with myself. Again, I understood when I began this writing project that there would be the risk of alienating some people. That's not what I want, but it also would be going complete against my goals here to hide from my thoughts and feelings. This site is intended for my kids to get to know me; the real me. To see what's hidden from public view. I don't promote this site at all; I don't care one lick if no one ever reads it until my kids are old enough to do so. But the fact is that there are people who are aware of its existence and some of those people have been offended by what I have written.
I was told that I owe apologies to certain people and I've given that a lot of thought. What would I be apologizing for? I don't mean to come off as crass here, that wasn't a throw-away line at all. If I am to apologize, I'd damn well better understand that something I did was wrong. I spoke my feelings, even if they were in an agitated state. Those feelings were truthful at the moment I wrote them. Does that mean that those are always my feelings? Of course not. Just the same as you may love pizza but can't stand the idea of eating it on a given day. People's ideas and feelings about other people (or pizza) change and shift in multiple directions seemingly at all times. So I really don't think I should apologize for that.
The other option, again, is that perhaps an apology is warranted to airing these feelings publicly. I assume this is why I was told to apologize in the first place. Certainly, my sister did not ask to be included in my ran the other week. I probably shouldn't have been directed as much toward her as it was, either. The people I truly should have been ranting to and about were Dad and Vickie. It is, after all, their house that was involved. It was their trip home that stirred all of this up. Does that mean it was all their fault? Not, not at all. I fully recognize that my reactions to the outside world are completely within my control. If a situation or a person is upsetting to me, it is not the fault of the situation or person; it is my job to adjust my reaction, as I will not be able to change the outside condition.
That said, the fact remains that I did write and publish a piece here that called out my sister and placed some blame at her feet for a situation that she probably didn't completely cause. So I will issue an apology for that much. I was agitated and took to my keyboard, not caring if I had my facts straight, though I believed at the time I did. I should have been more diligent about my research there.
I also understand that my post caused some tension between Dad and Vickie. That certainly was not the goal either. When Dad hit town and began making plans to see my family exactly once during the 10 or so days he would be around, I was hurt by that. Writing the post that I wrote was probably equal parts a need to get the feelings off of my chest, and a passive-aggressive way to alert them of how I felt, without the unpleasantness of a confrontation. It was a childish was to solve a problem, but I'm happy to say that my message was heard, at least somewhat. While Dad, it seems, focused too strongly on the discussion of material items (for the record, I don't WANT anything. The idea of splitting goods came from the Hershey talks. I guess I just assumed that hadn't changed. Either way, they were still moving out.), he was able to determine that it wasn't okay with me that my kids would see their grandparents once in a seven month period, not when they'd be in town for that length of time.
As it turned out, we saw them four times in total. And it was great.
My blog post caused at least a couple of fights and probably quite a few hurt feelings, but if it also caused me and my family to spend three extra days worth of visits with my parents before they left town again, well, then it was worth writing.
This post could go a couple of different ways right now. I could issue a blanket apology and make everyone happy. Conformity is always the path of least resistance, after all. Or, I could hold my ground and hide behind the idea of complete honesty, as if that gives me carte blanche to piss of as many people as possible. It doesn't.
Instead, I think I'll try to find a middle ground, because I don't think that either of the above options are the right way for me to go. And if this blog is to be for my children someday, I don't want the lesson learned here to be either of the above. To follow either of those paths would be to allow society to determine your behavior. In situations such as these, you should always be true to yourself first.
Let me start by saying that the issues I have discussed here in recent months did not necessarily need discussed. Which is to say, I guess, that those issues did not need to be made public. In my opinion, they did need discussed, if only with myself. Again, I understood when I began this writing project that there would be the risk of alienating some people. That's not what I want, but it also would be going complete against my goals here to hide from my thoughts and feelings. This site is intended for my kids to get to know me; the real me. To see what's hidden from public view. I don't promote this site at all; I don't care one lick if no one ever reads it until my kids are old enough to do so. But the fact is that there are people who are aware of its existence and some of those people have been offended by what I have written.
I was told that I owe apologies to certain people and I've given that a lot of thought. What would I be apologizing for? I don't mean to come off as crass here, that wasn't a throw-away line at all. If I am to apologize, I'd damn well better understand that something I did was wrong. I spoke my feelings, even if they were in an agitated state. Those feelings were truthful at the moment I wrote them. Does that mean that those are always my feelings? Of course not. Just the same as you may love pizza but can't stand the idea of eating it on a given day. People's ideas and feelings about other people (or pizza) change and shift in multiple directions seemingly at all times. So I really don't think I should apologize for that.
The other option, again, is that perhaps an apology is warranted to airing these feelings publicly. I assume this is why I was told to apologize in the first place. Certainly, my sister did not ask to be included in my ran the other week. I probably shouldn't have been directed as much toward her as it was, either. The people I truly should have been ranting to and about were Dad and Vickie. It is, after all, their house that was involved. It was their trip home that stirred all of this up. Does that mean it was all their fault? Not, not at all. I fully recognize that my reactions to the outside world are completely within my control. If a situation or a person is upsetting to me, it is not the fault of the situation or person; it is my job to adjust my reaction, as I will not be able to change the outside condition.
That said, the fact remains that I did write and publish a piece here that called out my sister and placed some blame at her feet for a situation that she probably didn't completely cause. So I will issue an apology for that much. I was agitated and took to my keyboard, not caring if I had my facts straight, though I believed at the time I did. I should have been more diligent about my research there.
I also understand that my post caused some tension between Dad and Vickie. That certainly was not the goal either. When Dad hit town and began making plans to see my family exactly once during the 10 or so days he would be around, I was hurt by that. Writing the post that I wrote was probably equal parts a need to get the feelings off of my chest, and a passive-aggressive way to alert them of how I felt, without the unpleasantness of a confrontation. It was a childish was to solve a problem, but I'm happy to say that my message was heard, at least somewhat. While Dad, it seems, focused too strongly on the discussion of material items (for the record, I don't WANT anything. The idea of splitting goods came from the Hershey talks. I guess I just assumed that hadn't changed. Either way, they were still moving out.), he was able to determine that it wasn't okay with me that my kids would see their grandparents once in a seven month period, not when they'd be in town for that length of time.
As it turned out, we saw them four times in total. And it was great.
My blog post caused at least a couple of fights and probably quite a few hurt feelings, but if it also caused me and my family to spend three extra days worth of visits with my parents before they left town again, well, then it was worth writing.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Naming the PTBNL
For those of you who follow baseball, you know what a PTBNL is. That's the back-end of a trade, usually a minor league player; a throw-in on a deal. Many times, a PTBNL (Player To Be Named Later) will be selected from a small list of players, chosen by the acquiring team.
In this instance, however, the PTBNL is a little boy who will be joining our family in a matter of three months or so. Valerie and I have done some things differently with this, our last, pregnancy. We kept the news a secret for as long as possible, we've quietly discussed names between only ourselves. This is a pregnancy for she and I to share, in as much as a pregnancy can be shared. She is, after all, the only one actually carrying the baby.
Anyhow, after a LOT of back and forth, each one of us vetoing suggestions made by the other, we narrowed the working list down to a few names. Valerie and I were watching a game show the other night and casually mentioning names to one another. The contestants were being introduced and Valerie said "okay, we'll name him whatever the third contestant's name is." She was joking, of course, but the laughing stopped when the third contestant's name was revealed (you're on the edge of your seat now, aren't you?). This name was one Valerie and I had mentioned before, and we had both kinda liked it.
Given our history with this name, and the "sign" we were given by having it pop up when Valerie made her off-hand suggestion, it just felt right to go ahead and decide on that one.
So we spent the next however long discussing a first and middle name combination and eventually settled, I think on what our PTBNL will be named, when he's named... later. Nothing is etched in stone (or on a birth certificate), so there remains a chance that we could change our minds. But for now, anyway, I think he's got a name.
In just about 10 weeks, the world will get to meet a little boy by the name of......
In this instance, however, the PTBNL is a little boy who will be joining our family in a matter of three months or so. Valerie and I have done some things differently with this, our last, pregnancy. We kept the news a secret for as long as possible, we've quietly discussed names between only ourselves. This is a pregnancy for she and I to share, in as much as a pregnancy can be shared. She is, after all, the only one actually carrying the baby.
Anyhow, after a LOT of back and forth, each one of us vetoing suggestions made by the other, we narrowed the working list down to a few names. Valerie and I were watching a game show the other night and casually mentioning names to one another. The contestants were being introduced and Valerie said "okay, we'll name him whatever the third contestant's name is." She was joking, of course, but the laughing stopped when the third contestant's name was revealed (you're on the edge of your seat now, aren't you?). This name was one Valerie and I had mentioned before, and we had both kinda liked it.
Given our history with this name, and the "sign" we were given by having it pop up when Valerie made her off-hand suggestion, it just felt right to go ahead and decide on that one.
So we spent the next however long discussing a first and middle name combination and eventually settled, I think on what our PTBNL will be named, when he's named... later. Nothing is etched in stone (or on a birth certificate), so there remains a chance that we could change our minds. But for now, anyway, I think he's got a name.
In just about 10 weeks, the world will get to meet a little boy by the name of......