I spent a few hours last night
reading through many of the archived posts on this site. That was a difficult
thing to do for me, emotionally. I discovered some old posts about our
not-so-little-anymore children from when they were little and unearthed some
buried feelings about other members of my family. I had forgotten about the
site altogether and it has sat dormant for a couple of years.
And what a couple of years.
Where to begin... Well, the last
time I wrote we had five kids. Now there are seven. When last I updated things
regularly (Oct. 2013), I was just starting my job as a sportswriter for a local
newspaper. Now I'm getting set to enter my fifth year there and I've added a
new duty: I'm the mayor of Delphos. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. I'm also a
full-time student once again, having enrolled at Bluffton in five semesters
ago. I'll graduate in May. All of that is just was has happened to me, it says
nothing of the changes I've undergone as a person, nor of the lives my children
have experienced in three or four years.
That's a lot to cover in one
update, so I guess this will have to turn into a few posts once I get going.
Let's start here, though: I'm the
mayor.
I didn't really have any intention
to be the mayor, but I did apply for the job. When Mayor Gallmeier resigned due
to health reasons, the Democratic Party asked for resumes to be appointed to
fill his seat. I sent mine in expecting only to introduce myself to some city
and county officials so that, in the future when I wasn't so busy (full-time
job, full-time student) I could run for city council or something. I guess the
interview went better than I expected because here I am, having been sworn in
only last week and facing an election in November against three opponents all
salivating to finish the term (through 2019). If I don't win the seat, my term
will be less than five months long. So we'll see how that goes, I guess.
Part of the reason I didn't expect
to be appointed (apart from the whole I have zero experience or qualifications
thing) is that I am, apparently, a historically-bad interviewee. I mean I had
three interview for a job at P&G and couldn't land it and that's just one
example. Any time I have interviewed for a position that could be filled by
anyone that can pass a drug screen, I've been passed over, and NOT because I
couldn't pass a drug screen (I could, and did).
Valerie says that's because when I
interview for those jobs, at factories or the like, the hiring managers are
worried I'm coming for their jobs. She says they're intimidated by me. A few
months ago, we were talking while i was driving, and I don't even recall how
the subject came up, but she told me there were three types of people, and
you'll have to envision her physical movements for this part. She says there
are people who are down here (as she waves her hand in a circular pattern near
her waist), there are people who are about here (waves her hand at about
shoulder level), and people who are up here (above her head). She told me I was
up here, and that other people could see it.
This is going to sound cocky, but
I had often suspected the same. Given my relative lack of success in life,
however, I had long since begun to doubt myself. Valerie's admission was the
first time in our near-10 years together that she had said anything like that
to me, but I instantly felt validated. It made sense.
I have spent a lot of time over
the life of this blog investigating myself and my feelings and emotions. Even
as I have left the posts unwritten, I have continued to explore those ideas and
thoughts. But here is the ultimate truth of everything you will find here and
everything you'll find if you get to know me at all: I am who I am today
because of the woman who agreed to marry me. That's it. Without her, I wouldn't
have the motivation to improve. Without here, I wouldn't have the patience I
have worked hard to develop. Without her, I wouldn't have the perspective I
enjoy now, I wouldn't be as... kind isn't the right word... less abrasive,
maybe... as I am today. I wouldn't be in college, I wouldn't be carrying a
near-4.0 GPA, I wouldn't be a year away from a career as a teacher, and I
wouldn't have ever considered trying to be the mayor.
Valerie gives me the courage to do
things I could never have done before. She gives me the courage to push past
any self-doubt. She, alone, is responsible for the new-and-improved John.
"Thank you" just doesn't seem like enough when someone gives you
everything.
