I have spent a decent amount of time on these virtual pages pointing out the flaws of Bio-Dad. In the near five years that Valerie and I have been together, he has shown himself to be pretty darn close to worthless. If he's breathing, he's lying and he has made a habit out of telling the kids he's be there to pick them up, only to go days or weeks without so much as a phone call.
In fact, it's far more frequent that he doesn't show than he does. It's well past the point where we expect him to disappear; it's damn near shocking when he actually spends more than six hours a month with his kids. That is not an exaggeration.
So last week he contacted my wife and told her that he was really going to try to see the kids and spend time with them. As if it's some kind of chore. Of course, this is the same guy who also said, the last time he was going to try, that he would "give them a chance." The guy has a lot of nerve. I'm not sure what a seven and six year old have to do to be worthy of his time, but I can't imagine thinking something like that, let alone saying it. This guy is a winner.
Anyhow, so he tells her that he's planning to pick the kids up from school to spend an hour with them before he goes into work. Sure enough, to my shock, the kids didn't come home from school on Monday because he actually showed up to get them. Then Tuesday came and the same thing happened. And Wednesday. Thursday the kids came home, but he called immediately apologizing to them saying he had some errands to run and didn't make it back in time. The next day, he got them from school again.
Of course, the weekend would be different. This is a guy who actually brought them home at 1 am on a Saturday one weekend. He has prioritized his social life (drinking mostly) over his kids and he's flat out told Valerie that he has no intention of making any sacrifices in his personal life to accommodate them.
But he did, in fact, show up on Saturday and he didn't call saying he needed to go jam with his band or anything silly like that. Instead, he kept them overnight and then did the same on Sunday, taking them to school, on time, on Monday morning. If that wasn't enough, the kids spent an hour after school with him before he went to work again.
It has been just a week, but he has finally followed through on something he said he would do. I know Sebastian couldn't be happier. He idolizes that man, and I will never come close. That's not his fault and I'm not mad about it. It's just something I have to accept. The fact is that I am not the biological father of those two kids and no matter how much Bio-Dad lies or disappoints the kids, he'll always be number one.
I doubt this little phase of his will last. If he's shown anything in five years it's that he isn't terribly interested in being a dad. I hope, for Sebastian and for Lillian, that this phase becomes habit.
I just have a lot of trouble believing it will.
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